How to Support a Child Through Grief: A Guide for Caregivers

When a child loses a loved one, their grief looks different from an adult’s. They may experience a wide range of emotions—sadness, anger, anxiety—before shifting back to play. It’s important to remember that grief isn’t a linear process for children, and their emotions can change quickly.

At Valerie’s House, we understand how challenging it can be to help a grieving child. Whether you're a parent, guardian, or caring adult, here are some ways you can offer support during this difficult time.

📌 For additional guidance, view the full tip sheet from SAMHSA here: Supporting a Child Through Grief.

What to Say to a Grieving Child

Children need reassurance and validation as they navigate grief. Here are some helpful messages to share with them:

💙 “People will still take care of you.”
💙 “Everything you’re feeling is okay.”
💙 “It’s okay to be sad, mad, or scared.”
💙 “We can talk about anything you want.”
💙 “You can ask me any questions.”

Letting a child know they are safe, loved, and supported is one of the most powerful things you can do.

Ways to Help a Grieving Child

Every child processes grief in their own way. Here are some ways to help them cope:

✔️ Be age-appropriately honest – Use clear, simple language and avoid vague phrases like “gone to sleep” or “in a better place.”
✔️ Follow their lead – Children may not want to talk about their feelings right away, and that’s okay. Allow them to express themselves through play and conversation when they are ready.
✔️ Be patient with outbursts and regressions – Grief can bring unexpected emotional and behavioral changes. Reassure them with love and stability.
✔️ Share and label your own feelings – When caregivers express their emotions in a healthy way, children learn that it's okay to grieve.
✔️ Create opportunities to share memories – Looking at pictures, telling stories, or drawing together can help children process loss in a meaningful way.

Where to Find Support

If you or a child in your life needs extra support, there are resources available:

📞 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline – Free, confidential support 24/7 for mental health, substance use, and more. Call or text 988 or visit 988lifeline.org.

💙 FindSupport.gov – A guide to help individuals and families find mental health and substance use resources.

🏥 FindTreatment.gov – Locate treatment facilities and providers or call SAMHSA’s National Helpline at 800-662-HELP (4357).

Helping Grieving Children Heal

Grief is a journey, and no child should have to go through it alone. At Valerie’s House, we provide grief support for children, teens, and families in a safe, understanding environment. By being there for a grieving child—offering comfort, honesty, and patience—you are helping them build resilience and healing.

For more resources, visit SAMHSA’s Bereavement & Grief Library.

Credit: This article is based on information from SAMHSA. View the full tip sheet here: Supporting a Child Through Grief.

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