After losing his mother as a young teen, John Mendes struggled to process the complex emotions associated with his grief. The years following her death were difficult and isolating, but he persevered thanks to the support he received from his father.

John, a New Jersey native, moved to Fort Myers a few years ago and began looking for ways to get involved in the new community. He learned about Valerie’s House through his daughter in 2021 and figured it would be the perfect place to volunteer his time.

“The one-on-one interaction with the children is the most rewarding part of the volunteer experience,” John said. “Volunteering allows me to give back and help children through a difficult time in their lives. It’s not only satisfying, but it’s also fun.”

John’s been a consistent volunteer on Tuesday night’s Sibling Loss Group with children ages 8 to 12 for the past two years. He leads this group with his daughter, Nina, who is the Communications Coordinator for Valerie’s House.

His own experience of losing his mother as an adolescent helps him relate to the children in his group.

“Grief is very personal, and we all grieve in our own way,” John said. “As someone who has had a loss, I can relate to many of our children and believe this helps to build a trusting and safe environment where the kids feel comfortable sharing their grief.”

John also said that volunteering has helped him process his own grief. He’s learned to open up about the loss of his mother and openly share his feelings.

“My experiences as a volunteer have taught me how to cope with my emotions,” John said. “Many of us were taught to compartmentalize our grief and to get on with life. Volunteering has been both an educational and therapeutic experience for me.”

As a volunteer, John likes to educate others about Valerie’s House and inspire them to get involved in many different ways. He is breaking down the stigma behind grief and giving others a glimpse of the beacon of hope that is Valerie’s House.

“Many people believe grief counseling is filled with sadness,” John said. “While there are certainly sad stories and tears are shed, many of our sessions are filled with laughter and happy memories our children share about the people they have lost. Our group activities are designed to help our children express and channel their emotions and energy into something that is productive and meaningful.”

We thank John for his dedication to Valerie’s House and for being a strong role model that our children can look up to.

If you’re interested in volunteering with Valerie’s House, click here for more information: https://valerieshouse.org/group-volunteers.