Welcome our new Director of Care and Compassion

A journey of love, care, passion brings Heather Payne to Valerie’s House

Heather Payne has heard the innocent screams of a baby addicted to drugs. She has consoled grieving parents who have just lost a child. She has helped families find the courage and strength they didn't think existed after enduring a tragedy. Now, the woman who always knew that helping others would be her life's work brings knowledge, expertise, caring, and compassion to Valerie's House as the new Director of Care and Compassion.

She will focus on one-on-one support for children and families that extend beyond grief group sessions at Valerie's House.

Heather also works with an animal rescue group and this was one of the adoptable dogs.

"I think this was the next logical step for me, the next right thing to do," said Payne, who has worked as a nurse and mental health counselor for 43 years. 

Payne, who grew up in St. John's, the Canadian province of Newfoundland, was adopted as an infant. She lost her father when she was 20 years old. "There was no grief support," she said. "You got three days of bereavement leave and went back to work. It made me realize that everyone needs someone to listen to them and help them through hard times."

Payne, who lived in Newfoundland for 32 years, worked as a registered nurse at a children's hospital. She also worked as a nurse in Michigan before going to Golisano Children's Hospital in Fort Myers, where she was assigned to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. She primarily treated critically ill newborns and infants born addicted to drugs.

"The drug-addicted babies would pull at your heart because they suffered through no fault of their own," Payne said. "You had to develop boundaries, be empathetic.”

As a nurse, Payne was always interested in people, their feelings, and their stories. NICU could be life at its worst. "People think you have the best job in the world, and you get to play with cute babies," she said. "Not always, the experience still gives me chills."

Maintaining personal boundaries was never easy to watch babies suffer, and to console distraught parents who watched helplessly as their newborns fought for their lives. She became proficient at "self-care." Her therapies are being outdoors and near the water, going to the gym, escaping to a good book, and spending time with the joys of her life –  her grandchildren and two dogs.

Her experiences in NICU led Payne to the Pediatric Bereavement program at Lee Health, where she focused on mental health counseling, providing support for families who have lost children. She then became a pediatric and pregnancy coordinator and offered private counseling for Delta Family Counseling, LLC.

Payne became connected to the care and grief support at Valerie's House through her work at Lee Health. She often directed families to Valerie's House, "There is an incredible, warm, positive feeling at Valerie's House," Payne said.

She started volunteering in 2016, then stepped back because of work demands in 2017, and went back as a volunteer in 2018, working with the Moms and Caregivers groups.

"It is an atmosphere where I feel like everyone is wrapped in love and support," Payne said. "You watch families come through the worst times of their lives, and become stronger, and move forward with incredible experiences".

Valerie's House provides Payne with a "team approach" to care that she embraces. "My position at the hospital was very intense, very, in the moment.  It is very different from working with a whole team and everyone dedicated to the same mission. They are there to support each other. It is a place that brings hope."

Volunteer Spotlight: Sierra Ritchey

Sierra gives others strength, compassion

Sierra Ritchey was approaching her senior year at Florida Gulf Coast University. She was excited about her future when the horrifying news that her older brother, Kenny, had been killed in a car accident.

Kenny had a history of seizures but never experienced one while driving.  She was in shock, so were her parents. Sierra knew she had to push her own emotions aside and take charge of her family. She was the one who identified her brother through his driver's license, made most of the funeral arrangements, and wrote his obituary.

“At the hospital, I was the one who stopped crying almost immediately because I knew I needed to be there for my parents,” Sierra said. “It was a big responsibility put on my shoulders.”

She wrote her brother's obituary and described him in perfect detail.  She wrote about her brother's love for sports and their life growing up in the mountain town of Hollidaysburg, Pa., before moving to Florida six years ago.

She became the family pillar, but inside Sierra was paralyzed by pain, she had no one to share her grief with until she found Valerie's House.

Sierra returned to class at FGCU for the fall semester about six months after Kenny died. Dr. Eric Dent, a professor at FGCU and his wife, invited Sierra to the grand opening of the new Valerie's House in Naples. "Literally, as soon as I stepped in, Ally (O'Brien) greeted me, and then I met Angela. They were so excited I was there."

"When I met Sierra and heard her story of loss and how she wanted to help others, I knew she belonged with the Valerie's House family," said Angela Melvin, Founder, and CEO of Valerie's House. "We support her, and in turn, she supports our children by being compassionate and understanding their pain. Her uplifting spirit and big smiles let the kids know they are going to be Ok."

Sierra was invited to sit in with the teen's group and soon, was volunteering at Valerie's House, working with the Littles, Middles, and Teens groups. "They really took me in," Sierra said.

Sierra, 21, was one of the youngest volunteers and one of the oldest in the teen group, and in some ways, it was difficult for her to connect. She now attends the Young Adults Group.  Sierra has also become a regular guest host on a podcast with Assistant Director of Group Support, Ally O'Brien.  Together they share personal feelings and give their audience tools to help process their loss. 

"I walked in and was nervous because I had never talked to a group of people about my brother," she said. "people were telling me their stories. I never had a platform where I could openly tell my story."

Sierra also did not think anyone had experienced a tragedy like hers and soon realized she was not alone.

"As a volunteer, I struggled with how my life was just awful," she said, "that no one else's problems were bigger than mine. At Valerie's House, no one tries to out due the other. There is no comparing grief and that is the most significant thing I have learned at Valerie's House."

Sierra graduated from FGCU in just three years with honors and a 3.94 GPA. The Pandemic kept Sierra from the traditional graduation ceremony at FGCU, but now, she has other things to celebrate.

Besides her work at Valerie's House, she also volunteers with the Big Brothers Big Sisters of the Sun Coast, providing love to 7-year-old Tamaya. Having a Bachelor's Degree in Psychology, Sierra hopes to start a career in human resources.

"Valerie's House is the best place you never want to find," Sierra said. "They are an army of strength behind you. You walk in, and there are always smiles. We don't talk about death all the time, and we get excited to share stories about our loved ones."

Portrait of an Artist

Personal experience with Loss and Love of Art is a driving force for a new therapist at Valerie's House  

Monika Urbanska arrived in the United States to start a new life with her family at the age of six, in 1992.  A native of Poland, she did not speak English and began to use art as a form of communication as she learned the language.

"I have always been a visual person," Monika said. "Art became a natural coping skill at home because my mom was an artist."

Monika and 9-year-old Cash painting Valerie's House fence mural on Fowler Street in Fort Myers.

The little girl who learned English through watching cartoons and movies knew that art was how she could help others. "Kids can use art throughout their whole lives," she said, "and you don't have to be talented to be creative. Art has always been helpful to me".

That coping skill soon became a life skill. Today, she uses art and its powerful images as a therapy to help children and adults in her role as a Family Support Counselor at Valerie's House. She leads many of the children's grief support groups and assists in the caregiver and grandparent groups.

Monika's mom, an artist herself, was very nurturing and taught her the value of art and how the world of art and creativity transforms people. When Monika was very young, her mother was diagnosed with cancer. Sadly, she lost her battle in 2007, when Monika was in college.

Monika received a bachelor's degree from Boston University and in 2009, moved to Florida with her brother. She soon began teaching special needs students at De LaSalle Academy in Fort Myers. She enrolled in the graduate program at Saint Mary-of-the-Woods College and received a Master's Degree in Counseling and Art Therapy.

Through her own grief experience with her mom's illness and death, Monika knew her life's work was going to be in counseling and began volunteering at Valerie's House.

"Having a Valerie's House when I was a teenager would have been so helpful to me while I  grieved", she said.

Monika joined the staff of Valerie's House in May 2020 as a Family Grief Counselor, specializing in Art Therapy. The Pandemic has led to an increase in grieving children, and Monika now also leads various virtual individual and group therapies for children and their caregivers.  Her focus is always art and how it can be applied as a tool to help in the grieving and healing process.

Monika looks for specific indicators in a person and how particular forms of art and images may connect with them.

"A graphic image seen by a child can mean something entirely different to an adult," she said.

Art Therapy can reveal a child's emotional state, and Monika uses different forms of art and images as a tool during her sessions. Art Therapy also builds confidence and helps children form bonds with each other. "It opens up a conversation with the kids," Monika said.

Art Therapy provides a pathway to healing, and Monika uses an individual's unique brand of creativity to build on those pathways.

"Monika has dedicated her life to helping children who are hurting by using the healing power of Art Therapy," Valerie's House Founder and CEO Angela Melvin said. "Her understanding of loss and her creative approach to helping families heal is making an impact on everyone in our programs."

Please consider helping Valerie's House continue to provide Art Therapy and the necessary tools to love and care for families while they grieve by donating today.